The White Christian American Church and Shame

My father was tricked into not believing me. My godfather didn’t protect me. The minister didn’t save or believe me (but allowed others to be hurt as I was). The youth pastor didn’t protect me. Eventually, my husband wouldn’t protect me. Each and every “man” in my life didn’t do the one thing they could have done for their daughter, member of a church family, or wife… protect. So… please tell me why I would feel safe with any man?????? Or safe in any church??? Is this my fault? Men shamed me to the point of not being able to function. Men shamed me through and in the name of God. At 9, it was my fault. At 15, the church made me out to be a liar to my family when all I was trying to do was protect other children. At 22, I was told, “It’s a job, isn’t it?” So, if you can’t understand why some people can’t find love in the sex that helped destroy their life (that only God could and DOES put back together - since He knew I couldn’t trust ‘man’) you’re probably someone who uses fear and shame as a control tactic. Here’s the secret, though… God is waking us up.

Men and women who have been abused by the man-made religious system are coming to this understanding. This understanding is what brings us healing! Often our healing is even shamed, because those who truly heal through understanding and tell the hard truths! If healing is done through the spirit, it can heal the entire family unit! My family was victims just as much as I was! This healing allowed everyone to take off the shame that wasn't ours. It allowed us to understand the choices we made. Forgiveness became minimal at best, with everyone understanding just what really happened! It showed us how evil had not only infiltrated our family unit, but also did so through spiritual authority. We have healed and live in peace through understanding that we very much want for every family who has suffered under the misuse of religious rule. That is freedom, the truth… It gives us understanding that even tells the secrets of the shamer. Shaming people into conformity is NOT the love of Christ. To be clear, there is NO Christ in that, except for the false narrative that causes one of His children to be away from God. Putting shame on people in the name of God is blasphemy, and it actually causes people to fall further from Christ than it does bring them to a fulfilled life. Judgment only brings resentment and repression. Jesus knew that, and is exactly why he didn't use those methods. Let's be more like Jesus and less like Paul. Paul wasn't the Son of God and man.

Matthew 18:6

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